Dealing with the stones Life throws in your path
I am sure this will warrant another cup of coffee. It is early, and since I am trying to give myself some slow time, not sure why, I am once again working on Heartsong. I know my guides are happy for that.
I seldom have a lot of what I call slow time, and this is part of what I am going to write about today.
For someone who doesn't work to earn money, I keep busier than people who actually do.
Untill I just run out of steam, then it often hits me. I can think about what I really don't want to. It is kind of my way of avoiding issues.
Oh I am fully aware of is going on in the Universe and this world, without even keeping up, I just have this way of knowing.
And I am more accepting of it than most, I know it is part of a group agreement, all the economic woes, the earth changes, the other things that will come.
That is part of my business, the gardening, the chickens, etc. Not that doing all that is any guarantee of having my bases covered, but I can work at it and enjoy it as I go on, So I do.
No part of it is mostly a coping mechanism, I have an absentee husband a lot, my only surviving child in this dimension and her children are a long ways away, they have lives of their own. I am fully aware that I am only a fringe player in theirs.
It is part of my experience to acknowledge that I have had, along with members of my family, a tragedy occur.
And so when I am just so damned tired out, and sitting thinking, I think of my son.
Now I got to say right here and now, I like so many like myself, can sense the departed when they choose to come back and visit. My son does now and then. Not as frequently as he used to, but he does.
However, when I have come to the point where I think about what happened to him and how much I miss him. well it can be overwhelming for me. I will call it a really hard time and be done with it. It doesn't last, I will be sad, withdrawn, if I am lucky, alone. And it seems to flow out of me, tie me up in sorrow, and then simply go. Afterwards I feel less brittle, more full of joy, and very aware of what truly is.
And I am good again, for a while. It gets less often, but is still just as intense as it was the day after he died. I smoke a cigarette, I am really a very private person, and no amount of
"there, there, it will be alright" from anyone will help.
And lately, I just cannot listen to anyone else's problems, have enough of my own.
My sister just had to move out of her house, she is struggling with trying to find a job, and
my daughter is dealing with a husband who is dealing with his post tramatic stress from Iraq.
He is one of so many. But they are hangin in there, my sister is hanging in there, I am hanging in there.
Life is not some joyride, and learning to hang in there, and do it with love, direction and compassion for others, for yourself, and to keep on trying to find things to enjoy as you go is the
homework you do. To deal with the obstacles, the stones, each stone a story all in itself.
Mornings up here where I live, the peace, the not being in the middle of a hub of
a city is my way of dealing.
Everyone finds what works for them though. What works for me isn't for everyone.
When you do find it, it will click. Part of the process is to be open to your own process, be mindful and in touch of how you feel. And when you get to some point, you can use the compassion on yourself. Love yourself. For every thing you are, not how you do or do not look,
not what you do or do not have, or get to do, or not get to do. You are you, not someone else, and it is totally useless to compare your life to someone else's.
And while we are all connected, that is true. We are all going through here at our own rate, with our own game plans, learning at our own rates. Learning to love who we are at this point in time is also learning to love everyone and everything else at the same time. We begin to see the pattern of our shared existence.
And when we do, well what then? Will we open up ourselves and funnel that
field of existence through our hearts when needed?
I believe so. After I have one of my times of sorrow, I hear my son's voice
or see the screws on the lightswitch plate where he unscrewed them once again to let me know
a very important thing. He is a very helpful young man, even from where he is.
We are not just these bodies, there is so much more to us. We are all part of the Universe, and we are all going to get through this present day, and the next, and the next, and the next and so on, if only we remember that.
I seldom have a lot of what I call slow time, and this is part of what I am going to write about today.
For someone who doesn't work to earn money, I keep busier than people who actually do.
Untill I just run out of steam, then it often hits me. I can think about what I really don't want to. It is kind of my way of avoiding issues.
Oh I am fully aware of is going on in the Universe and this world, without even keeping up, I just have this way of knowing.
And I am more accepting of it than most, I know it is part of a group agreement, all the economic woes, the earth changes, the other things that will come.
That is part of my business, the gardening, the chickens, etc. Not that doing all that is any guarantee of having my bases covered, but I can work at it and enjoy it as I go on, So I do.
No part of it is mostly a coping mechanism, I have an absentee husband a lot, my only surviving child in this dimension and her children are a long ways away, they have lives of their own. I am fully aware that I am only a fringe player in theirs.
It is part of my experience to acknowledge that I have had, along with members of my family, a tragedy occur.
And so when I am just so damned tired out, and sitting thinking, I think of my son.
Now I got to say right here and now, I like so many like myself, can sense the departed when they choose to come back and visit. My son does now and then. Not as frequently as he used to, but he does.
However, when I have come to the point where I think about what happened to him and how much I miss him. well it can be overwhelming for me. I will call it a really hard time and be done with it. It doesn't last, I will be sad, withdrawn, if I am lucky, alone. And it seems to flow out of me, tie me up in sorrow, and then simply go. Afterwards I feel less brittle, more full of joy, and very aware of what truly is.
And I am good again, for a while. It gets less often, but is still just as intense as it was the day after he died. I smoke a cigarette, I am really a very private person, and no amount of
"there, there, it will be alright" from anyone will help.
And lately, I just cannot listen to anyone else's problems, have enough of my own.
My sister just had to move out of her house, she is struggling with trying to find a job, and
my daughter is dealing with a husband who is dealing with his post tramatic stress from Iraq.
He is one of so many. But they are hangin in there, my sister is hanging in there, I am hanging in there.
Life is not some joyride, and learning to hang in there, and do it with love, direction and compassion for others, for yourself, and to keep on trying to find things to enjoy as you go is the
homework you do. To deal with the obstacles, the stones, each stone a story all in itself.
Mornings up here where I live, the peace, the not being in the middle of a hub of
a city is my way of dealing.
Everyone finds what works for them though. What works for me isn't for everyone.
When you do find it, it will click. Part of the process is to be open to your own process, be mindful and in touch of how you feel. And when you get to some point, you can use the compassion on yourself. Love yourself. For every thing you are, not how you do or do not look,
not what you do or do not have, or get to do, or not get to do. You are you, not someone else, and it is totally useless to compare your life to someone else's.
And while we are all connected, that is true. We are all going through here at our own rate, with our own game plans, learning at our own rates. Learning to love who we are at this point in time is also learning to love everyone and everything else at the same time. We begin to see the pattern of our shared existence.
And when we do, well what then? Will we open up ourselves and funnel that
field of existence through our hearts when needed?
I believe so. After I have one of my times of sorrow, I hear my son's voice
or see the screws on the lightswitch plate where he unscrewed them once again to let me know
a very important thing. He is a very helpful young man, even from where he is.
We are not just these bodies, there is so much more to us. We are all part of the Universe, and we are all going to get through this present day, and the next, and the next, and the next and so on, if only we remember that.
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