Hearing the other side of things, and letting your own experiences be heard
Cultural and family parameters are tough to break out of.
We are conditioned as children to obey rules, we are expected to go by certain societal mores', be a joiner, be good person, a good church goer, a good mother and good citizen. And if it is a 'good' family unit then we just put up with some things, to keep peace, make nice. Make excuses for our behavior, and others. Somehow scared that if we don't abide by the rules, we are not good human beings. Conditioned that if we aren't just so, we will go to hell. Fearful stuff put in our heads.
For whatever reason, for me this was always a matter of questioning things. Why? Did it mean if I questioned this or that I was not a good person. Even if I was pleasant, helpful, etc. as a child, all the while feeling like I came from outer space, did that mean I wasn't a good person, did that mean I was outside of the cultural parameters of what was considered proper and good.
Of course I didn't put it like that in my little kid head. But as a child, I would say stuff. And my loving and well meaning parents who were very much the standard parent figures of the times would shush me. I was stepping outside of the drawn parameters for them. They were just human beings trying to raise a family, not some ogres, but just being human. They are my parents, and while being and feeling different from them, I love them.
So as time went on I stuffed things down, and did shush. But then as I came into adolescence I rebelled, sneakily, quietly. With other girls of my age, walking home from the bus stop, smoking cigarettes, oh we thought we were so hip and the very model of rebels.
But in essence we were all just hiding it, because aferwards we chewed gum, spritzed on some cologne and prayed our mothers, who at the time period were still at home mothers would not get too close to us and smell anything. My hiding the real me started then.
Most of my life has been like that. Untill now, even though I have let out a bit here and there.
I would give myself more easing a little here a little there. Like a Halloween party. I dressed as myself, a witch. Set up my altar for the beloved departed, the norm for me on that day.
But remember I am also more complicated than that. I have slowly come to full understanding of that. Let my freak flag fly.
While I am writing this I have had to take my pup out. We are slowly working with more success all the time on housebreaking. So she won't poop on the rug.
I guess I am pooping on other people's rugs here while doing this clearing,but for that I go back to steps three and four of the Formula of Compassion to understand. Guess as far as parameters go, I am not very housebroken.
Step Three is what is the role the other person is playin to act out their part of the contract?
Well, the other person is playing the one who is hurt and outraged by what I have said, they haven't read the Formula, don't understand the emotional clearing, so I see I have hurt their feelings. It is the hardest part. They have felt I have been very cruel. They want me to apologize as they feel bad.
I feel bad. But do I go back to the same old me? Do I become the person I have come to dislike very much and indulge in what was going on before. Do I simply stuff it down, play like it never happened? Say I am sorry for what I had to say. No.
My role is the one who has stirred it up. I am not some innocent here, no Miss Mary Sunshine who was just an innocent bystander.
No excuses there.
As Step Four goes on with what aspect of myself is this other person reflecting back to me?
Wow, a really not nice aspect. Not really being open to what the other side of the story was. That person who was being talked about, she had no representation of her side. So myself hearing the
side of the one whe was relating her side of the tale, whole heartedly jumped in and believed and was just as
bad as the one telling the tale. It can happen to anyone. We want to believe the worse in this three dimensional world we live in. And if it happens that you are the one beign talked about, well it hurts when you find out.
The trick is learning, hard as it is, that all of us have our own views and opinions of what goes on in life. And this is really tricky here. Do they want to see and hear otherwise. Often yes. It is hard for each of us is at a different point.
Hurting people is not my preferred way of doing anything, but so it has come to pass.
But then going on to Step Five, what is the gift the person has given me by playing this other role of the hurt person?
I have worked this over several times. The gift is my coming to the point I can allow myself to open myself to who and all that I truly am. I am many things. None of them bad, but I do realise
others will not view it that way. You see I have now stepped outside the boundaries of cultural restrictiveness. I am being myself, I am speaking out on how I have felt about things, I am changing myself.
I appreciate the outbursts and recrimination from the other role player, and the rest of whoever family members she has dragged into this. I was supposedly harsh, seemingly cruel, but I am not apologising.
But what I do have is gratitude that you are playing the role for me.
On to Step Six, Acceptance. Yes I do accept the role the other person has played, along with their actions, to help me learn this lesson.
I do. For years, all of my friends who are outside of the 'Box' have asked me things like
How come you haven't come out of the Broom closet, or What you never talk about your beliefs and you are -how old now!!! All of us who are on this path on Earth, and there are hundreds of thousands of us here now. Keeping in touch. I hope each of us have come to the same point at this time. Trying to clear it out.
Get rid of the fear.
Well I am a year away from 60, so this has been a long time coming. I despite coming from elsewhere to dwell in this human body, have been really slow in getting out of the 3D parameters. Yes, I have gone to meetings and workshops with hundreds of other people who think like me, and I talk to them, but I found that even the most seemingly open famiy member, really doesn't want to push past their own
comfort zone. So no, I haven't really and truly spoken my own truth.
What holds us down is fear. Fear is what imprisons us. We are not truly the beings we can be when we have fear. We become afraid to speak our truth, we are afraid to show our true selves if it is outside the accepted cultural paramenters.Fear keeps us from evolving, it keeps us afraid to see other aspects of the whole. We are afraid of so many things on this planet, fear is used as a control over us. Mostly I was afraid of being viewed as a wierdo. Well like I said, letting my freak flag fly.
And on to Step Seven. Allowance. Can I allow myself to let go of any anger towards the other person who played the role that helped me learn the lesson.
I had to get angry first and let it out of me. So it came out. I thought I was trying to
give you some reason to make changes yourself, but then after you smashed back at me, all of my anger towards the role you were playing came out. My poor husband was a good sounding board for my anger.
I also allow that you are on your chosen path in life, regardless of my concerns and feelings. I allow my role has been to make you cry, in hopes to initiate changes. Between us, your daughter, the rest of the family, mostly for you in your own life. I can let it go, but I won't be the same person. My anger left me changed. For the better. My anger is gone.
Step Eight, Releasing you from blame. I do, at this point, we are on separate paths, and I understand you have your own side and it is what it is. I had to go this way, thank you for that.
Step Nine, Kindness
If you happen to read this, know that I do love you and am grateful for the role you have played in my life. I wish you the best on your path. However for a while, I need my own space
and so will love you from a distance.
Here I want to say that sometimes when one has felt ill over some interactions and has worked through this Formula to clear out and release emotional issues, that the other may not understand this. This is the more common thing to happen.
And as an empath I am aware that so much can simply come back into my life far earlier than I am ready to deal with. Since I have worked on this, I have other work to do. And this other person is not there. Even though the two of us are in a contract to do this for each other. Everyone goes at there own speed and does what they are going to do. Life is like that. I have had to do this before, and I do feel one day we will come back together.
So for now, I have come to this release and have gratitude. I have learned more about myself, face myself by having to be tough. Forced it to be true, but feel better for it.
I give total thanks to the Council for giving this tool to those of us who have come to
wake up. They do understand that we humans, being the youngest of Prime Creators children have a struggle on their hands. All of the Golden Ones are here watching and loving us. But for us to be what we must be, we have to do it ourselves.
Take care all of you
We are conditioned as children to obey rules, we are expected to go by certain societal mores', be a joiner, be good person, a good church goer, a good mother and good citizen. And if it is a 'good' family unit then we just put up with some things, to keep peace, make nice. Make excuses for our behavior, and others. Somehow scared that if we don't abide by the rules, we are not good human beings. Conditioned that if we aren't just so, we will go to hell. Fearful stuff put in our heads.
For whatever reason, for me this was always a matter of questioning things. Why? Did it mean if I questioned this or that I was not a good person. Even if I was pleasant, helpful, etc. as a child, all the while feeling like I came from outer space, did that mean I wasn't a good person, did that mean I was outside of the cultural parameters of what was considered proper and good.
Of course I didn't put it like that in my little kid head. But as a child, I would say stuff. And my loving and well meaning parents who were very much the standard parent figures of the times would shush me. I was stepping outside of the drawn parameters for them. They were just human beings trying to raise a family, not some ogres, but just being human. They are my parents, and while being and feeling different from them, I love them.
So as time went on I stuffed things down, and did shush. But then as I came into adolescence I rebelled, sneakily, quietly. With other girls of my age, walking home from the bus stop, smoking cigarettes, oh we thought we were so hip and the very model of rebels.
But in essence we were all just hiding it, because aferwards we chewed gum, spritzed on some cologne and prayed our mothers, who at the time period were still at home mothers would not get too close to us and smell anything. My hiding the real me started then.
Most of my life has been like that. Untill now, even though I have let out a bit here and there.
I would give myself more easing a little here a little there. Like a Halloween party. I dressed as myself, a witch. Set up my altar for the beloved departed, the norm for me on that day.
But remember I am also more complicated than that. I have slowly come to full understanding of that. Let my freak flag fly.
While I am writing this I have had to take my pup out. We are slowly working with more success all the time on housebreaking. So she won't poop on the rug.
I guess I am pooping on other people's rugs here while doing this clearing,but for that I go back to steps three and four of the Formula of Compassion to understand. Guess as far as parameters go, I am not very housebroken.
Step Three is what is the role the other person is playin to act out their part of the contract?
Well, the other person is playing the one who is hurt and outraged by what I have said, they haven't read the Formula, don't understand the emotional clearing, so I see I have hurt their feelings. It is the hardest part. They have felt I have been very cruel. They want me to apologize as they feel bad.
I feel bad. But do I go back to the same old me? Do I become the person I have come to dislike very much and indulge in what was going on before. Do I simply stuff it down, play like it never happened? Say I am sorry for what I had to say. No.
My role is the one who has stirred it up. I am not some innocent here, no Miss Mary Sunshine who was just an innocent bystander.
No excuses there.
As Step Four goes on with what aspect of myself is this other person reflecting back to me?
Wow, a really not nice aspect. Not really being open to what the other side of the story was. That person who was being talked about, she had no representation of her side. So myself hearing the
side of the one whe was relating her side of the tale, whole heartedly jumped in and believed and was just as
bad as the one telling the tale. It can happen to anyone. We want to believe the worse in this three dimensional world we live in. And if it happens that you are the one beign talked about, well it hurts when you find out.
The trick is learning, hard as it is, that all of us have our own views and opinions of what goes on in life. And this is really tricky here. Do they want to see and hear otherwise. Often yes. It is hard for each of us is at a different point.
Hurting people is not my preferred way of doing anything, but so it has come to pass.
But then going on to Step Five, what is the gift the person has given me by playing this other role of the hurt person?
I have worked this over several times. The gift is my coming to the point I can allow myself to open myself to who and all that I truly am. I am many things. None of them bad, but I do realise
others will not view it that way. You see I have now stepped outside the boundaries of cultural restrictiveness. I am being myself, I am speaking out on how I have felt about things, I am changing myself.
I appreciate the outbursts and recrimination from the other role player, and the rest of whoever family members she has dragged into this. I was supposedly harsh, seemingly cruel, but I am not apologising.
But what I do have is gratitude that you are playing the role for me.
On to Step Six, Acceptance. Yes I do accept the role the other person has played, along with their actions, to help me learn this lesson.
I do. For years, all of my friends who are outside of the 'Box' have asked me things like
How come you haven't come out of the Broom closet, or What you never talk about your beliefs and you are -how old now!!! All of us who are on this path on Earth, and there are hundreds of thousands of us here now. Keeping in touch. I hope each of us have come to the same point at this time. Trying to clear it out.
Get rid of the fear.
Well I am a year away from 60, so this has been a long time coming. I despite coming from elsewhere to dwell in this human body, have been really slow in getting out of the 3D parameters. Yes, I have gone to meetings and workshops with hundreds of other people who think like me, and I talk to them, but I found that even the most seemingly open famiy member, really doesn't want to push past their own
comfort zone. So no, I haven't really and truly spoken my own truth.
What holds us down is fear. Fear is what imprisons us. We are not truly the beings we can be when we have fear. We become afraid to speak our truth, we are afraid to show our true selves if it is outside the accepted cultural paramenters.Fear keeps us from evolving, it keeps us afraid to see other aspects of the whole. We are afraid of so many things on this planet, fear is used as a control over us. Mostly I was afraid of being viewed as a wierdo. Well like I said, letting my freak flag fly.
And on to Step Seven. Allowance. Can I allow myself to let go of any anger towards the other person who played the role that helped me learn the lesson.
I had to get angry first and let it out of me. So it came out. I thought I was trying to
give you some reason to make changes yourself, but then after you smashed back at me, all of my anger towards the role you were playing came out. My poor husband was a good sounding board for my anger.
I also allow that you are on your chosen path in life, regardless of my concerns and feelings. I allow my role has been to make you cry, in hopes to initiate changes. Between us, your daughter, the rest of the family, mostly for you in your own life. I can let it go, but I won't be the same person. My anger left me changed. For the better. My anger is gone.
Step Eight, Releasing you from blame. I do, at this point, we are on separate paths, and I understand you have your own side and it is what it is. I had to go this way, thank you for that.
Step Nine, Kindness
If you happen to read this, know that I do love you and am grateful for the role you have played in my life. I wish you the best on your path. However for a while, I need my own space
and so will love you from a distance.
Here I want to say that sometimes when one has felt ill over some interactions and has worked through this Formula to clear out and release emotional issues, that the other may not understand this. This is the more common thing to happen.
And as an empath I am aware that so much can simply come back into my life far earlier than I am ready to deal with. Since I have worked on this, I have other work to do. And this other person is not there. Even though the two of us are in a contract to do this for each other. Everyone goes at there own speed and does what they are going to do. Life is like that. I have had to do this before, and I do feel one day we will come back together.
So for now, I have come to this release and have gratitude. I have learned more about myself, face myself by having to be tough. Forced it to be true, but feel better for it.
I give total thanks to the Council for giving this tool to those of us who have come to
wake up. They do understand that we humans, being the youngest of Prime Creators children have a struggle on their hands. All of the Golden Ones are here watching and loving us. But for us to be what we must be, we have to do it ourselves.
Take care all of you
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