So what's up with this Formula of Compassion and the emotional clearing already
Good question. Well because it seldom works the first time around. So you have to go through the steps untill you get it right.
It can be a very active ongoing process, and yes the other people seldom get what you are trying to do.
However, I have found it has given me quite a perspective. Maybe due to the reaction of those who are playing the other roles for me.
Like I said, they most likely will not understand. And it can be hard, tough, nasty, you can get some vindictive responses. However while it is outgoing, it feels like losing this burden when you can air all your bad feelings at the same time, open up that musty closet, and take a good hard look. Look at yourself, then ask yourself why did you let the other person behave like that, talk to you like that. What was your excuse.
For me it is why do I hold back so often. I work at resolving things, priding myself on being rational. But why did I come away feeling pissed off. There were a lot of things over the years, and I didn't say what I should have.
Answer, I didn't want to create a scene. Ahh, a reflection back to me. Why am I trying to be this
rational, pleasant, "good little girl". And getting more resentful by the minute. Got to work on that one,
gee thanks to the other role player here. Comes a little late, but at least I vented it some.
What is it in me that makes me bite my tongue so often? How come? I am still pondering. I realize the rest of the steps will have to be gone over later. And the interesting thing is , this happens a lot with my family. I love them, but I don't think I let them really know me very well. When I do , with my different
views on the Universe, other life forms, what we humans truly are, my Wiccan faith, I often feel like they view me as an oddball. So am I afraid of being myself all the way? What afraid they won't love me?
Am I allowing this sister to represent them all?
My friends love me, my really good friends. The others, well they accept me. We don't see each other a lot, it is ok. But with family, well interesting revelation.... Do they think I am mental too, like the sister's daughter. Has she played her role very well there too? She is very angry and reactive right now, but I also have found out that I have little interest in the reasons she slanders me right now. Only that she can't accept the fact I have tried to push her mind into a different direction. Like starting a peaceful and newer relationship with her daughter, by working out their problems in therapy. She rejects it.
The truth may or may not be there in what she says. So wow, I feeling ashamed of participating in all of the discussion I have had with her about other family members. This reflection was a chastisment for myself. And wow, now that I have squared off with her, she has thrown more stuff in my face.
Oddly her words don't hurt. They have lost their power. I am working on the new issue in this conflict.
Why did I, at the time it happened, say you can't talk to me like that. I am not some stupid person, you spoke to me in front of others pretty rudely. Stick up for myself. I have self worth. Gotta work on that self worth. Because I think she thinks she can tear down my sense of it with some nasty remarks. Those closet to you will often play the roughest roles. I with her, she with me.
For that I thank her for playing this role. I have gratitude, and yes I can see the whole picture.
I just need to go back through again. Will she understand, doubtful, but it is okay.
Things will come up. Let the other person you are having conflict with them do their own work.
If they are not in the mind set to do so, well like I say, their homework. I have my own, and as much a it has hurt, it also feels damned good too.
This is not one of those instant processes, and if you don't get it, go back and re-read the steps.
It can be a very active ongoing process, and yes the other people seldom get what you are trying to do.
However, I have found it has given me quite a perspective. Maybe due to the reaction of those who are playing the other roles for me.
Like I said, they most likely will not understand. And it can be hard, tough, nasty, you can get some vindictive responses. However while it is outgoing, it feels like losing this burden when you can air all your bad feelings at the same time, open up that musty closet, and take a good hard look. Look at yourself, then ask yourself why did you let the other person behave like that, talk to you like that. What was your excuse.
For me it is why do I hold back so often. I work at resolving things, priding myself on being rational. But why did I come away feeling pissed off. There were a lot of things over the years, and I didn't say what I should have.
Answer, I didn't want to create a scene. Ahh, a reflection back to me. Why am I trying to be this
rational, pleasant, "good little girl". And getting more resentful by the minute. Got to work on that one,
gee thanks to the other role player here. Comes a little late, but at least I vented it some.
What is it in me that makes me bite my tongue so often? How come? I am still pondering. I realize the rest of the steps will have to be gone over later. And the interesting thing is , this happens a lot with my family. I love them, but I don't think I let them really know me very well. When I do , with my different
views on the Universe, other life forms, what we humans truly are, my Wiccan faith, I often feel like they view me as an oddball. So am I afraid of being myself all the way? What afraid they won't love me?
Am I allowing this sister to represent them all?
My friends love me, my really good friends. The others, well they accept me. We don't see each other a lot, it is ok. But with family, well interesting revelation.... Do they think I am mental too, like the sister's daughter. Has she played her role very well there too? She is very angry and reactive right now, but I also have found out that I have little interest in the reasons she slanders me right now. Only that she can't accept the fact I have tried to push her mind into a different direction. Like starting a peaceful and newer relationship with her daughter, by working out their problems in therapy. She rejects it.
The truth may or may not be there in what she says. So wow, I feeling ashamed of participating in all of the discussion I have had with her about other family members. This reflection was a chastisment for myself. And wow, now that I have squared off with her, she has thrown more stuff in my face.
Oddly her words don't hurt. They have lost their power. I am working on the new issue in this conflict.
Why did I, at the time it happened, say you can't talk to me like that. I am not some stupid person, you spoke to me in front of others pretty rudely. Stick up for myself. I have self worth. Gotta work on that self worth. Because I think she thinks she can tear down my sense of it with some nasty remarks. Those closet to you will often play the roughest roles. I with her, she with me.
For that I thank her for playing this role. I have gratitude, and yes I can see the whole picture.
I just need to go back through again. Will she understand, doubtful, but it is okay.
Things will come up. Let the other person you are having conflict with them do their own work.
If they are not in the mind set to do so, well like I say, their homework. I have my own, and as much a it has hurt, it also feels damned good too.
This is not one of those instant processes, and if you don't get it, go back and re-read the steps.
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