When things break loose using the Formula of Compassion and working on emotional clearing

    I woke up feeling down right cheerful this morning.

    A huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, and out of my solar plexus and stomach chakras.

    The dan tien, or hara.  The block that was there has been removed, and my acid reflex that has dogged me for some many months is gone.

      Sadly as I have stated about starting the process, my famly member who became so enraged by the post I wrote outlining the situation as I personally saw it and experienced.  And who demanded I remove it, well she moved to enlarging the drama.

    The guides gave me fair warning. 

     But of course she dragged another family member into it, crying cruelty, mean, and of course from that
new member, the same.

      So either one of them dragged yet another, then another.  At this point, I am taking a break from all of them.  I dared to step outside of my usual role, and got ganged up on. Being forgiving often means stuffing stuff down, for family.  But it doesn't get rid of it.  Like a rock in your shoe, it will bug you.  This whole
forgiving thing is over rated.  Because unless you address why you have this resentment, and why the other person is behaving to you , and why have you allowed to for so long, it will come back up.  Seems like sorry isn't often used  either. And perhaps that is pointless too at times.  Unless you work on the reasons, the contract and the roles you have agreed to play for each other.  I am doing this for the other member, not to her.  Maybe some day she will get it.

     Oh , I am feeling fairly well at this point.  Was tough though, no matter what I said, seems like it was a big
NO NO> guilt trip.  Was pretty eye-opening too though.

      My husband has often asked me why I have allowed this other family member to talk and behave to me like she has.  Well, this is a tough question.

      We have grown up together, we have enjoyed each others company and confidences, she has been supportive when my son died, as were others in the family.  And I have been supportive of her when there have been some very tough spots in her life. But just lately I came to a bit of a shock, that I am not too
well viewed by her.  Judged even.  So I began the process, viewing the past.  And bringing it to the present day.  So I stand accused.                                 

         But I have had to struggle with rudeness, and this funny behavior out of her when we have some large family function.  Uusually camping or on trips.  Not that there hasn't been a lot of fun too.  But it just was rude and so uncalled for in the situation.  I have always done my share to help out during these events.

      I came back last time, and that is when my husband asked me why.  I had driven hard for a day and before that a night, and was very out of sorts.  I felt badly that a incident happened during our gathering.  Felt guilty even over it.  Then had to ask myself why.

      Stuff like this comes back up when doing this process.  Why do I feel guilty about something that I didn't do?  Hmmm.  And why am I seeing that the guilt card is being used again.  I think that was it.  Guilt. I then just kept my feelings stuffed, as I was experiencing guilt.  Some things are truly not petty, but they have been a long time coming, over the course of many years.

    Somewhere I have come to recognise how it can be used.  So I have checked out for a while. I had to do the same this last year for a dysfunctional friendship, and had to go through a sad doggie situation then.  And wow, this year has been the same.  So I looked hard, what is this reflecting back to me.  Reflections on the reflection.
Stop being dumped on.  Love them, but say no, not listening to stuff, not allowing my self to be dumped on.
Not buying in.  Kicked myself around alot, believe me.

    If any of you out there get the gonza's to try and do this, then be ready.  Like I said, the other person won't understand, if they aren't there.  Fear will be used, fear of loss of love, membership in the family unit, words will be said or written, yours and theirs. Guilt will be applied quite lavishly.

    And you know, this was amazing how this spun into something way past what it was. If we were in a
communist country in the old days, I would have been thrown in jail for my words.

    It has given me some whole new ways of seeing

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